It’s a New Year! Let’s make yourself the priority for 2025!
The New Year is here! A brand-new chapter, full of promises! During those first days of January, we often feel regained motivation to create new habits: exercising, eating healthier, being more productive at work, spending more time with the kids… the list can go on and on! (and the longer it is, the less likely you are to stick to it… but this is not today’s topic.)
This blog post is focused on self-care. In my opinion, nurturing yourself should be your number one (if not your one and unique) resolution for 2025. And let’s be real, looking after yourself as a working mum is hard! You might feel guilty for taking time just for you. Besides, there is already so much on your plate, why would you add anything extra into your schedule?
Yet you probably know it very well, if you keep on neglect yourself, you will eventually crash… However, wellness practices are not just here to avoid burn out, the aim is for you to thrive and enjoy life. So let’s see how you could incorporate easy self-care habits to improve your wellbeing with little changes that are likely to stick for the whole year, and beyond.
Let’s debunk some myths about self-care
For some, self-care could be getting a massage, a manicure or enjoying a warm bubble bath with a glass of wine. While all those activities sound lovely, this would be a very limited definition of self-care, unachievable on a daily (or even weekly/monthly) basis for most working mums. For me, a self-care practice is anything that I do to give myself some love. What makes it “self-care” is more the intention than the activity by itself. Practicing self-care is recognising that you are worthy of love and that your wellbeing matters. Self-care starts with small acts of kindness towards yourself.
Self-care does not have to be complicated. It is as easy as placing a hand on your heart and taking 3 deep breaths. It is about having a positive self-talk and making sure you grant yourself the same compassion you would offer to a friend. Self-care could simply be the three minutes you spend listening to your favourite song before starting work…
You can practice self-care without making extra time for it. Remember, it’s about the intention of giving yourself some love! You can decide that you enjoy walking to work - and this walk becomes your “me-time”. You can stick a positive affirmation on your laptop, so every time you look at it, you remind yourself that you matter. Filling up your water bottle at the beginning of the day and making sure you stay hydrated is self-care.
Self-care does not have to be practiced alone. Actually, for extroverts, spending time with others could be a form self-care. Of course, hanging out with friends in a kids-free environment offers a much-needed break from parenting! But this is not always possible. For mums, sometimes it’s easier to include your kids in your self-care practices. You could colour together, play in the garden, have a silly dance in the living room… you can choose virtually any activity as long as that you enjoy it and it makes you feel good.
At this stage, I invite you to think about a small shift that you could make in your daily life to honour yourself. For me, I’m committed to being present when reading my daughter a bedtime story. I want to enjoy this moment as a peaceful pause at the end of the day (instead of viewing it as a parental duty). I’m not adding anything extra to my schedule, I’m just shifting my attitude to savour the little joys.
Which self-care practice is right for you?
Although I recommend that you look at self-care as something that you can easily incorporate into your life (i.e. listening to your favourite podcast on the way to work or singing along in the car), I still believe that carving out some “me-time” is important. By making time for yourself, you’re reinforcing the idea that you matter. But we don’t want “me-time” to be another chore in your schedule. This time should actually replenish you.
When deciding on your self-care routine, think about the following:
What do you need the most? It might be some stillness, and you might want to explore some mindfulness activities. Or some time to think and reflect, maybe journalling would be good for you? Do you feel like expressing your creativity through painting or music? Or perhaps you need to a connection to nature? Does your body need to move?
When would you like to practice? If you want the habit to stick, it’s best to practice at the same time every day. Think about your schedule and what would work best for you. First thing in the morning? Just upon arriving at work? Maybe at lunch time? Or right before bed?
How long will your routine be? Ideally, aim for 20-30min. But if you haven’t practiced daily self-care at all in 2024, committing to 5 minute a day for 2025 is perfectly fine. Start with baby steps, it will be easier to sustain. You can always build upon them once the habit is established.
Now, I encourage you to pick one activity that you would like to experiment as a daily self-care routine. If you need some inspiration, here are a few ideas:
Sitting quietly while enjoying a nice cuppa
Reading a few pages of your favourite book
Going for a walk
Practicing meditation
Listening to your favourite music
Exercising
Journalling
Colouring, painting, drawing…
Playing an instrument
Having a conversation with a friend or a loved one
I now have a morning routine that takes about 30 minutes and includes some gentle pilates moves and a short meditation. I started with a much shorter version of this routine in 2023 which I would practice intermittently. Last year, I became much more consistent and my goal is to maintain this practice in 2025. Sometimes my daughter joins me and I’m regularly interrupted during my meditation (she’s slowly learning that even if she pokes me I won’t respond during that time). That’s okay, I am still honouring the commitment that I made to look after myself.
It’s important to recognise that your routine is not set in stone. You will not fail your New Year resolutions if you decide to re-adjust your routine mid-February. The intention is to take care of yourself. You can experiment with a 5 minute meditation at lunch time but then realise after two weeks that this is not working for you and what you actually need is a walk around the block. Your needs and your situation will evolve, and it’s okay to readjust your routine.
How do you look after yourself while juggling career and family?
There is no doubt, it is incredibly challenging for working mums to find a moment for themselves! There are several constraints at play, and it’s not only about carving out time… It’s also about finding the right physical environment with no potential stressor in sight (e.g. scattered toys on the floor or overdue papers to review). And most of all, it’s about creating the mental space to relax - and this can be quite tricky if you instantly feel guilty when you do something just for yourself.
But what would happen if you were held accountable for having some “me-time”? In a research study, six mothers working in highly-demanding Academic jobs were asked to practice self-care every day and to post about it in an online community (CohenMillers & Demers, 2019). Because these women were “pressured” to nurture themselves, they allowed themselves indulgences they would not have normally permitted. By being pushed to have some daily “me-time”, these hard-working mums recognised the importance of their own wellbeing and became more aware of themselves as individuals, beyond being mothers and Faculty members. As these women progressively forged a new habit of self-care, they were better able to manage career-family role conflicts; they also experienced reduced stress and feelings of guilt.
Committing to yourself, even if it’s only for a few minutes a day, can make a difference. But you might need accountability! As shown in the above-mentioned study, once the experiment finished and the women were no longer required to post daily about their self-care practice, most of them stopped the practice. So, I encourage you to take up a “New-Year self-care challenge” with a friend, family member or partner where you both commit to your daily self-care practice and hold each other accountable.
In summary, as we step into the New Year, I invite you to:
1) Make a daily commitment to honour yourself
2) Experiment with a daily self-care routine (with flexibility to adjust the routine as needed)
3) Find your accountability buddy and commit to daily self-care together
Would you like a little help with incorporating self-care into your daily routine?
I offer a short coaching package designed to help mothers bring peace and harmony into their lives.
Check it out here.
Reference
CohenMiller, A., & Demers, D. (2019). Conflicting roles of mother and academic? Exploring the use of arts-based self-care activities to encourage wellbeing. Art/Research/International:/A/Transdisciplinary/Journal, 4(2), 611–645. https://doi.org/10.18432/ari29391